Dreams and Reality
by Annabel de Lioncourt
Summary: Remus doesnt want Tonks to help him after a painful fullmoon, but she'll hear nothing of it, "Don't let me feel so useless!" "stay..." "What?" "just stay with me" inspired by another fic,but the plot is original and there's an interesting twist at the end


It was the morning after a particularly difficult full moon, and I hadn't yet gotten out of bed. Sirius had checked in on me around ten, and that felt like hours ago. I told him off, still heated from the transformation; I would have to apologize later. I turned in bed, trying to find a more comfortable way to lie- or at least one that didn't hurt, or wasn't on anything broken.

I was almost asleep, or at least as close to it as I could hope on getting that day, when I heard the door creak. It was clear that someone was trying to be quiet, but the slower they opened the door, the more that it creaked, and the high pitched sound pierced my wolf ears like nails on a slate.

"Just come in." I immediately regretted it. Nymphadora came in, smiling, trying to hid that she looked pained. _Pained over you._ it must have been later, night again, if she was off work already.

"Are you alright?" _Now that you're here, yes._ No, no, she's off limits. She's too good for me.

"_Who's this?' greyback, arguably the foulest being on earth, held a photo of a pink haired witch just out of reach._

_ "No one, she's a…relative."_

_ "Really, hardly a resemblance. So this is her? Did she kiss you when it hurt? Made you feel all better? Made you feel like a real _man_?" it was too late, but thank merlin he tore it up before he got a good look at it, he still didn't know who it was "you're not a man, and she knows that, I don't care if her tastes run towards animal, you'll kill her or she'll leave. Maybe both. That would be an entertaining yarn next time you have the nerve to show up here, Lupin."_

"I'm fine, and please, I'd rather you not…see me like this" vain or not, I didn't want her seeing me in pain.

"No you aren't fine" she completely ignored what I told her. "Is there anything I can do?" Nymphadora was holding the side of my face in one hand. Merlin that felt good.

"Nothing, just…nothing"

"Well, I'm not going to leave you like this. How long have you been in here?" I could have told her that I'd been in bed for almost twenty four hours, but I knew that that would hurt her.

"Not…" I grunted in pain when she took my hand- all my joints ached. "Not that long…" she brought my hand to her lips as I spoke- oh, like silk on my worn skin. Then she leaned over me and kissed my upper lip, and lower and never completely, taunting me, mocking the fact that my animal nature wanted her so much.

"You've been in here all day, you're normally clean cut." She said her mouth moving against the stubble on my face and neck. "There has to be _something_ that I could do for you? A sleeping potion?"

"Took one already, they don't work for this."

"I could cover the scratches and bites."

"Did that already"

"D***it Remus, don't let me feel so useless!" I sighed. I love her, she knows what I am, loves me despite it, loved me before she knew, and now…what am I supposed to do

_"You're as animal as a common dog. Then again, maybe she could be an asset to us…a young witch that enjoys sleeping with wolves?"_

_ "No! I swear I haven't seen her in an age! She-she left me. Left when she found out…"_

_ "Ah, of course, find a wolf b****, if you want company so bad." not company, not lust, only her heart, and that was all I wanted. I thought that I'd die before I got away from the pack._

"Stay here."

"What?" Nymphadora asked; she had water in her eyes, for me. Not for me, but because of me, because I rejected her.

"Lie with me." I said, trying not to groan in pain as I moved over to give her room.

"Really?" she asked carefully; I've never let her in my bed before and I agree with her that this was certainly an odd time to let her.

"Yes, before I think better of it." much more quickly now, yet tentatively she laid beside me. "What?"

"The bed's cold…" she said, laying a hand on my bear chest. She greatly overestimates my sense of control. "You're cold" she wasn't. She was warm, but all human bodies are warm, and I saw no reason to marvel at the fact she was so warm, so much as the fact that it was _her_ warm that raising my temperature, _her_ body that was warming mine. she held on to me, I ignored the pain, holding her tighter, tight as I could until I was afraid I'd break her. I was going to _hurt_ in the morning.

"See…? you are helping me." She shifted uneasily a little.

"Remus…when are you going to tell me you love me?" all the aching muscles and bones seemed to send their pain to my heart, because it felt like it had just been shoved in container too small, and ready to burst out. I couldn't put in words what I felt for her; I could have told her that, but I _couldn't._ Because it would mean I loved her less if I didn't care enough to keep her safe from me, and I didn't want her to think that, or have her in danger; clearly I couldn't be with her. On the other side, it would eventually just kill us both to be apart, so then what would it matter?

She knew she found a breaking point.

"I love you, you know that. I didn't see a need to tell you."

"Alright…Now will you tell me the truth?" knows me better than I do…

"You know why I can't-"

"I don't like to insult you- but you're an idiot." Perhaps one reason why I loved her. She was _spontaneous_, she was _alive_ and living things changed. Not changed like transforming, or morphing but change as in…I don't know how to word it, just that she was so……….something. She could go from declarations of love to name calling without blinking.

"Please listen to me."

"What, and lose this?" she asked pressing soft lips to my neck, which was as high as she could reach. Normally she's tall, but that's only when she morphs. Around me she's herself. I told her I don't need her to make herself beautiful, she's lovely as is, and that's all I want. Her for her. She was so…_tiny._ In reality, not just slim, but short as well, and that made it worse; she seemed so fragile, I know she's not, but still. So young, so small, so delicate. How could a lovely ethereal being like her live with a beast? And I don't want to hear any of the s*** from fairy tales that Sirius keeps telling me about her.

"I don't want to lose anything, that's why you can't stay here."

"Like I said, you're an idiot." I lowered my hold on her to her waist, so I could pull her up so we were eye to eye. She shivered when my hands got lower on her, whether it was out of shock, my cold hands, or anticipation, even maybe all three, I have no idea. Now I was level to her violently beautiful purple eyes, their natural color.

That was when she kissed me. Oh merlin, I was done. I kissed her back, with more fervor than was really necessary. It became a contest, each of us trying to kiss longer, more passion more……

The following morning, we were asleep on the same pillow, Nymphadora was curled up against me, and I was still holding her. She was smiling in her sleep.

"Remus? Remus wake up," I shook off the last bit of dream- dream?- and looked up. Instead of just her, our two year old son was lying between us.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"Teddy had a nightmare." She said brushing back blue hair from his forehead. I grinned, he looked calm enough now. Dora was sliding out of bed, peering into the cradle. Ana, our month old daughter was still asleep. "he didn't wake her." She said.

"Come back to bed, love, she's fine."

"I know…" she said. I we both leaned over teddy, and I kissed her. Immediately we heard quiet giggles.

"It thought you were asleep," I told him.

"I was pretending daddie, but now you've got cooties!" Tonks laughed

"Daddie can't get cooties, wolves can't."

"I wanna be a wolf too!" my son's fixation with my ailment was frightening yet somehow, on such a young child, quite endearing.

"Maybe when you're older you'll be one." Tonks added sighing.

"Love, no." I added quickly

"I'd likes that!" he laughed, Dora grinned, and honestly, so did I. Forget it.

If they don't care, than neither do I.

I think I prefer life to my dreams.

**AN: so I know two year olds most likely don't know what cooties are, but oh well. And don't get confused with my other stories, normally Teddy and Ana have an age difference of just about a year, unless the particular one has them as twins.**

**Also I was going to do a series of one-shots on them at school, message me on whether you think they should be twins and have a younger sibling (if so say whether the youngest should be a boy or girl) or if they should have a year between them.**

**Thank you!!! R and R!**

**Oh yeah and I don't own HP**

**I'll write more soon hopefully. I'm just at work on other projects right now incl. a new professor black and some original stuff too. Not to mention school. So if I don't post again until after the holidays, happy Christmas, merry Christmas, happy kwanza, happy Hanukah, happy new year, and happy every other holiday that currently escaped my mind at the moment to my fellow RLNT fanatics!!!**


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